SCP Sightings
Check out some of the recent "Stupid Church People" sightings. Whenever I see something "stupid" I try to document it. From time to time, we plan on sharing those things with you. We feel it is our responsibility....plus it is just really, really fun to point out the "stupid" things among us. It gives even more pleasure to find church people being stupid...Josh and I included.
Some things I find are funny stupid and then other things are scary stupid. But it's all stupid. So check out the recent pics here at SCP Extras .
By the way, you are all official "SCP Deputies" and I commission you to find the stupid things around you that church people do, take a picture and email it to us. We will share it on our site with the world.
posted by Steve at
8/17/2005
27 Comments:
You haven't even begun to scratch the surface. Do you guys have "Christian Yellow Pages" or "The Shepherd's Guide" directories to Christian businesses? Just what everybody needs, a Christian septic system service.
These directories are actually pretty useful tools to locate all the useless tools with whom you never want to do business.
The radio jingle is the best: "Pick up the Shepherd's Guide...and let the Shepherd guide you!"
okay, i guess i'm gonna have to start totting my camera with me all the time now :)
eddie
ok. i'm ignorant. what's wrong with christian bookstores? except that they didn't have the eugene peterson book i was looking for yesterday...
this isn't an scp thing, but still thought ya'll might find it funny...
http://www.angryalien.com/
(and my comment above this one about the bookstores was genuine, not in defense of them. i got the rest of the pics - and they were funny or so true they were funny - just didn't get the bookstore one.)
hay laura, listen to the very very first scp podcast and it'll answer all your questions about the wonder that is Christian Retail.
With that in mind, I think I'll put on my "God's Gym" t-shirt, maybe kick back with my "God 'hearts' You" shotglass, and have a party watching the Left Behind movies on DVD. (Not to be confused with the Jenna Jameson classic, "Right Behind"...haha)
Of course, nothing is better after a couple of snorts from my Christian shotglass than a "Testamint", so the whole world can know that Jesus Saves by my minty-fresh breath (and my 17 bumperstickers on my car).
oh my dear lord that was funny!! "testamint"? i'm still wiping away the tears from laughing so hard :)
eddie
Eddie, I swear our local X'n bookstore sells them. You just can't make up stuff like that...
I will be posting my "testamint" wrapper soon... it is an archived collection I haven't scanned in yet....don't worry it is coming!
SC
Laura...you hit the nail on the head with one thing wrong with Christian bookstores...the lack of really good Christian books like Eugene Peterson. It's also hard to find anything of real substance in my opinion.
They tend to put really large book displays with Pres. Bush's face all over them. They also tend to pimp out all sort of products to make a buck. Of course if there wasn't a market for it they wouldn't sell anything. So the stores aren't a problem I guess...it's just another business in the marketplace. The problem for me is what they represent.
I know you guys don't want to turn SCP into a cash machine, but couldn't we raise some bucks for Africa or something by selling WWJD beer mugs and ashtrays? What about a flask for Josh's suit coat pocket that with the "by my spirit" verse on it? Maybe a Purpose-Driven line of marital aids?
"I swear our local X'n bookstore sells them. You just can't make up stuff like that... "
the sad thing is, i don't doubt it... but that's probably why it's so damn funny :)
hey steve, did you get the t-shirt pics i sent ya?
eddie
steve,
i found my recent eugene peterson find at barnes and noble. so i see what you mean. have you read run with horses by him? that was the one i was trying to find.
i did like the sonshine-ish stores when i was working in youth ministry because there was some good "helps" type books there, as well as some good gift type books for young girls. there's so much trash out there that they are fed, so i did like to find something to counter-balance that.
...and sadly, i have seen the testamints...
Laura, to continue a little... I hate the whole segmenting of society into sacred vs. secular. And Christian bookstores epitomize that. I understand the need for a category of books directed at spirituality and even Christianity, but a whole store.
So what would happen if there were no Christian bookstores? The Christian stuff of substance and relevance to society would rise to the top and be available in all bookstores...like Barnes and Noble. See I have no trouble with bookstores owned by Christians...so I think our local Xian bookstore should also sell the secular stuff. Now that would be a concept.
And no, I haven't read "Run with Horses". I will have to check it out. I have read a few of his books...he's a pretty amazing writer and pastor.
but then that would require christians to shop among non-christians (gasp!)
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pretty soon God will be banned in all stores, and all public places, so there's really no reason for you and your campy/daffy partner to bag on any kind of Christian stores, or bumper-stickers, or any kind of public proclamation about being into God...
thanks to liberals, who will use (who are already using) the Bible's outright condemnation of homosexuals the way the feds used tax evasion against Capone, there will be laws against having God or Jesus' name shown in any public place, so you guys will be very glad to know that your wish shall soon come true, God will not be aloud anywhere outside...
and one day, inside as well...
be careful what you wish for, boys...
and be careful, also, who you ROOT for...
for there is a fine line between rebellion and being lukewarm!
(oh i SO rule)
ideas for some good bumperstickers:
GOD CREATED DARWIN
NIETZSCHE'S DEAD
BEWARE OF GOD
LIBERALS ARE FLAG WAIVERS
HILLARY CLINTON RESEMBLES MRS COLLINS FROM 'WHAT'S HAPPENING!' (this might be too long)
ATHIESTS PROTEST TOO MUCH
BUDDHA WAS A FAT LAZY FOOL
THERE ARE MORE MEN IN UTAH THAN WOMEN (get it?)
JOSEPH H SMITH ON A POPSICLE STICK!
BRING EM' YOUNG
BAAL WATCHES 'FRIENDS'
AMERICA RULES, AND YOU SUCK
MEL WON'T GO TO HELL
NOAH SURFED
FOSSILS ARE FOSSILS
EVOLUTION IS STILL JUST A THEORY
THE MISSING LINK IS JOHN KERRY'S JAWBONE
MICHAEL MOORE IS NEDRY FROM JURASIC PARK
CHRISTIANS CENSOR, LIBERALS BAN ALTOGETHER
more bumpersticker ideas:
911 - END OF DAZE
L RON HUBBARD LOATHED DISCO
JUDAS ISCARIOT WAS A DEMOCRAT
I LOVE MY HELLHOUND
BENIDICT ARNOLD WAS ALSO A WAR HERO
ASLAN IS NEAR, NOT BEER
WORSHIP GOD, NOT SAINTS
JESUS IS THE QUESTION AND THE ANSWER
ADAM AND EVE ATE THE FIRST MAC COMPUTER
ALL NARROW ROADS LEAD TO HEAVEN
ALL WIDE ROADS LEAD TO THE DMC
U2 ARE NOT CHRISTIANS
LUKEWARM OR BUST
Oh good lord, what next?
I wonder if they only accept pets that are born again? And if so, did these pets correctly site the "sinner's prayer?"
just wondering ...
;-)
all dogs go to heaven, dude, so there
beneath is one funny fella
You guys have probably seen these...but I get countless laughs from these sites. It pains me to say that this is real, actual merchandise...yes, including underwear that inspires chastity ("wait-ware").
http://www.souldevice.org/lord%20mart/
www.ship-of-fools.com/gadgets/
Beneath... no one was talking about the federal govt banning God in public places....
I am talking about "Christians" businesses who like to market inferior products (and make a buttload of money) to "sheepies" to purchase because they need "christian" clothes, music, nightlights, plates, candy and whatever else to help them isolate from the big bad world.
Wasn't there something about Jesus turning over tables in the temple where the "religious" were profiting off of God... I think I remember that somewhere.
And Peter... don't encourage Beneath... he already thinks he is funny enough...
P.S. Beneath - all kidding aside.. thanks for what you wrote on my "Dad" post... quite kind! I appreciated it.
Personally, after seeing the new SCP video, I'm opening my own kind of shop: "Mediterranean Coast Customz"
From church vans to chariots... I wanna pimp it all!!!
Wanna ride on water? No problem. Our rims convert to skis...
That was hilarious, guys!
(Was Josh Jesus?)
hey...it's jesus here...oh...i mean....josh
yes it was me.
don't hate me.
hate you??? i love you jesus!!! i've never been happier than the day you squuiiiiiished into my left ventricle :)
okay guys, youre talking this too far, i'm calling Max Von Sydow to clean you all out once and for all
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