Moving On
Insanity.
I think I am going crazy. I feel like the world around me is upset that I have left to spend some time away from the church. I am made to feel like I am wrong. Family, friends, old co-workers, stupid church people, etc..
Life away from the church has been a little weird. I wake up on Sundays and think I am supposed to be somewhere. Like I am missing out on something. Then later on in the day I feel free. Seriously, I feel like I can take deeper breathes.
So, where now?
I left the church and got a “real” job and it feels great. Now what am I supposed to do? I have to ask myself, what is my next move? What now? I left and I am done. But what is my goal? CHRIST. It needs to be…right? So, that is step #2…
Church Detox Step 2
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
God is my only way out of this stupidity.
Christ is my center.
Only Christ can save me from the church.
I think I am going crazy. I feel like the world around me is upset that I have left to spend some time away from the church. I am made to feel like I am wrong. Family, friends, old co-workers, stupid church people, etc..
Life away from the church has been a little weird. I wake up on Sundays and think I am supposed to be somewhere. Like I am missing out on something. Then later on in the day I feel free. Seriously, I feel like I can take deeper breathes.
So, where now?
I left the church and got a “real” job and it feels great. Now what am I supposed to do? I have to ask myself, what is my next move? What now? I left and I am done. But what is my goal? CHRIST. It needs to be…right? So, that is step #2…
Church Detox Step 2
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
God is my only way out of this stupidity.
Christ is my center.
Only Christ can save me from the church.
posted by Joshua Sager at
9:34 PM
5 Comments:
Josh,
This is my first post. I just found the podcast last week and have been getting into it.
I know what you are feeling. Been there, am there, may be there a long time....
nice to find other people on the journey.
In talking to my daughter about this or something like it...we are all called to ministry but maybe not to be PAID by it??...........He is guiding you....I can't help but think of the song by Casting Crowns Love Them to Jesus...go listen to it...and know there are many praying big and bold prayers for you....
yeah, well my prayers for you are small, with much fear and trembling...God, I hope they're still worth something...
;)
Great post, Joshie!
I was scared when we left our church, too. Scared my friends would reject me, judge me...that they would think I was "backsliding" or "having a crises of faith...." But I decided it's better to fear God than to fear man...and God was definitely telling us to leave; damn the consequences of the SCP's of the world. and yeah, there have been some SCP moments, and I'm sure there will be more to come, but I am at peace with God about our decision. There are some things happening in Americhurch today that are simply unacceptable, and the reality of that is greater than all the rationalization that SCP's can dish out.
I would say your next step is to stop thinking about your next step. Just take it a day at a time time, dude. That's all any of us can do. I find when I start thinking about what to do next, I get so wrapped up in the planning and execution of that plan that I miss out on what's going on here and now. Remember, God is guiding you, He knows where you need to be, so just sit back and enjoy the ride, my friend. Now do you want a beer? :-)
Josh,
Long time listener, first time caller (or poster--anyway, I have always wanted to say that!).
Man, I have just been able to download the latest two SCP shows. I love it. I am greatly encouraged by what you are doing and the difficulties and joys that you are experiencing. Change always comes at a cost. Perhaps your bold step is causing your former compatriots to question the validity of their own choices. Perhaps this is what is motivating them to get you back in as soon as possible.
I salute your coming out into full bloom on SCP. To continue the analogy, I would say that you are entering into a new springtime of your faith. It certainly sounds like yours was, as the bard put it, a winter of discontent. If my judgement is correct, then this will be a time of exploring colours and scents that had been hidden from you for a long time.
Hang on a minute, I am really starting to warm to this idea. What if the church is indeed like a winter that likes everything to be super-pure like the driven snow. It might sound fine to be so pure and clean, but it is hardly sustaining, and if you are exposed for too long, you wither and die and are covered by the whiteness of the snow. Its purity is an illusion. The riot of colours that are offered up by the new spring may not be ordered and are open to great levels of frolicking and abandonment, but this is not necessarily a bad thing.
Josh, I have no doubt that there are those who see your move into a fresh start in your faith-journey (damn I wish I had a better term for that), and see you as damaged or in need of correction. I say though congratulations! It is time to smell the flowers. If and when your SCP friends decide to take a few tentative steps out of the melting snow to risk a look around, you will be able to rejoice that more lives have been freed from their icy self-imprisonment.
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