GOD
So where do I find Christ? Do I find Christ in the church or outside of it?
Or just maybe, Christ finds me.
I believe Christ has found me scarred and numb. Numb to the touch. Numb to feeling true life. I feel like I have spent too much time trying to find what God wants, that I missed God loving me. I believe the church and its leader's have helped me believe that it is my responsibility to figure out the unseen.
It is impossible. There are no clear answers. Well, not anymore.
God. The church loves to put God in a box. They love to keep him manageable. We make God into a contrast of black and white. Right and wrong. Nothing more. In the end, we limit God.
I crave the mystery of God. I love the unknown. I hope and pray that God is all about love, grace, forgiveness and understanding. If God is all these, I really don't understand Him and He truly is a mystery. God, I am thankful.
I don't want to solve the mystery of God. I want to lay in the mystery of Christ and follow His love and grace.
God help me.
Or just maybe, Christ finds me.
I believe Christ has found me scarred and numb. Numb to the touch. Numb to feeling true life. I feel like I have spent too much time trying to find what God wants, that I missed God loving me. I believe the church and its leader's have helped me believe that it is my responsibility to figure out the unseen.
It is impossible. There are no clear answers. Well, not anymore.
God. The church loves to put God in a box. They love to keep him manageable. We make God into a contrast of black and white. Right and wrong. Nothing more. In the end, we limit God.
I crave the mystery of God. I love the unknown. I hope and pray that God is all about love, grace, forgiveness and understanding. If God is all these, I really don't understand Him and He truly is a mystery. God, I am thankful.
I don't want to solve the mystery of God. I want to lay in the mystery of Christ and follow His love and grace.
God help me.
posted by Joshua Sager at
11:10 PM
11 Comments:
I cannot remember where I read it, but I recently saw something like this:
Man #1 has God in a box.
Man #2 says we should take God out of the box
Man #3 says, "Why is there a box at all?"
'lay in the mystery'... that's where it's at, bro.
You just defined the gospel, Josh:
Mysterious. Dangerous. Risky.
Everything organized religion is afraid of...
AND SO MUCH MORE!!!
"There's still hope for the child inside everyone of us."
-Longfellow Deeds
Josh,
It sounds like you are a wanna-be mystic.
Be careful opening the box and letting God out. It is just about impossible to put Him back in.
And isn't that the beginning...the MYSTERY and figuring out WE CAN"T FIGURE IT OUT....what a ride...HOLD ON TIGHT!!! Praying for you....You've probably got a BARBARIANS heart in there!!!
I'm not sure if the wanna-be mystic remark is a put-down or not (it certainly sounds like one), but if Josh is guilty so am I. We have to leave room for mystery and not presume to have captured, classified, organized and doctrinized The Truth. We have lot of truth, and the most important truth about who we are and what God made us for, but there is plenty of truth that we have yet to discover... and that which is discoverable in this life is but a sliver of The Truth. Paul said it best: we "see darkly" but one day we will know fully even as we are fully known. Problem is, most evangelical sermons make it sound like we've already arrived.
It wasn't meant as a put down, but as a keep your head up and your eyes focused on heaven.
I'm a wanna-be mystic as well.
I don't like God in a box. Any God who claims to be the Creator, the Prime Mover, the Source of all there is can/should not be easily understood. If you can understand him, it probably isn't God you are worshipping.
Once you give God the chance to be who He is and not who you want him to be, there is no going back to shallow Christianity.
It is a good thing to be a wanna-be mystic. Unfulfillment can make a man do things he never thought possible. Fulfillment makes us sit on the couch and watch TV.
Thanks for the clarification Tim, I'm with you now.
Josh. I feel your pain. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the people like me in your life; at least, the way I was, and perhaps, still am. I’m sorry that you felt that you had to pretend all the time. To never let us see behind the curtain. To always maintain the facade. My friend, that someone so earnestly seeking Christ like yourself should suffer, not for His sake, but for the institution that fronts His name, reflects poorly on us all. It is clear from your post that you are one hurtin’ dude at the moment. It is not fair, and it is not just. I’m sorry.
Josh,
I'm still in church. I really do feel like I belong there.
But I've quit pretending...
I actually catch people looking at me like, "What's up with jeff?"
I speak my mind. I share my thoughts. I talk a lot about religion and it's effects.
I don't know if I'm making a difference. But I am making a few folks uncomfortable. Maybe they'll ask me to leave... :) Maybe not!
Still, while a part of me envies you, another part of me is scared for you, because I don't know how I would deal with breaking my own church-addiction...
So tell me, how has God been restoring you to 'sanity', since you left? What's been happening with you & God since the exodus? (I'm really wanting/needing to know...)
I hope we all can admit to being in the place you are in
There are clear answers Josh. But not many. You know which ones they are. Also it is awesome that you have realized that God is immeasurable. Because God cannot be put into a box only a part of him can. Most likely the part someone(pastor, leader of a church) uses to manipulate or scare there followers into submission. You must have strong faith which is good if you are going on a detox. Hearing how you want to embrace Gods mystery is inspireing, because most people do not like what they do not know. So you must know that OUR God loves us and wants nothing but for us to enjoy this world while we are on it. Enough of my babble hopefully its not to confusing.
IN HIS GRIP
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