The Shakes
I have been craving a corporate experience focused around Christ lately. Should I just go back to church? Should I stop the detox early? I am getting the shakes. Just like any addiction, I think that is a good indication of dependancy.
Is dependancy of a church worship experience all that bad? I have to ask myself, what am I truly missing or craving right now?
Corporate focus. I miss meeting with others and speaking "church talk". Of course, that is all it was. There wasn't much "life talk" outside of "church". I keep thinking back and remembering the conversations about this "sacred" time together on Sunday mornings. One thing was key, the more "artsy" the service was, the more spiritual it was. God, I don't miss that. If you wanted to talk about life you should join a small group. Two person small groups did not count. I hated that. No one cared, they just wanted me to adapt.
I am almost ready to join everyone else and just wake up on Sundays and go to church because that is what you are supposed to do. It is just not the right time. I am so happy to have people like Steve in my life. People I can talk to about ANYTHING. No agendas. No plans. Just genuine care and concern. People like Dave from work who listens to my frustrations about church, God and copier sales. Like my amazing wife Ashley who puts up with the biggest fuck-up around. My mom and my brothers who are the greatest support anyone could ask for. My In-laws who model the "perfect" christian life for me.
Maybe I am not dependent on the church. Maybe I need to just love the people around me a little more. Love the God who is right beside me throughout all of this shit.
-----------------------------------------------------
Church Detox Step 7
Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
-----------------------------------------------------
God,
I am such a fuck up. Why do you even care about me? Of all sinners ... I am the worst.
Forgive me of the stupid things I have done and will do. Where would I be without you? I have fallen extremely short of Your calling. No excuses ... forgive me. Please.
......
funny thing ...
I tear up just talking to or writing to God. I crave God ... not church. I crave redemption ... not reputation. I crave life ... not conformity.
God ... I have truly missed you.
Is dependancy of a church worship experience all that bad? I have to ask myself, what am I truly missing or craving right now?
Corporate focus. I miss meeting with others and speaking "church talk". Of course, that is all it was. There wasn't much "life talk" outside of "church". I keep thinking back and remembering the conversations about this "sacred" time together on Sunday mornings. One thing was key, the more "artsy" the service was, the more spiritual it was. God, I don't miss that. If you wanted to talk about life you should join a small group. Two person small groups did not count. I hated that. No one cared, they just wanted me to adapt.
I am almost ready to join everyone else and just wake up on Sundays and go to church because that is what you are supposed to do. It is just not the right time. I am so happy to have people like Steve in my life. People I can talk to about ANYTHING. No agendas. No plans. Just genuine care and concern. People like Dave from work who listens to my frustrations about church, God and copier sales. Like my amazing wife Ashley who puts up with the biggest fuck-up around. My mom and my brothers who are the greatest support anyone could ask for. My In-laws who model the "perfect" christian life for me.
Maybe I am not dependent on the church. Maybe I need to just love the people around me a little more. Love the God who is right beside me throughout all of this shit.
-----------------------------------------------------
Church Detox Step 7
Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
-----------------------------------------------------
God,
I am such a fuck up. Why do you even care about me? Of all sinners ... I am the worst.
Forgive me of the stupid things I have done and will do. Where would I be without you? I have fallen extremely short of Your calling. No excuses ... forgive me. Please.
......
funny thing ...
I tear up just talking to or writing to God. I crave God ... not church. I crave redemption ... not reputation. I crave life ... not conformity.
God ... I have truly missed you.
posted by Joshua Sager at
9:24 PM
8 Comments:
I know what you mean.....today I too am experiencing Him and declaring Him not enough....
Aww Josh you are no bigger mess up then me and Paul was the worst as the chief of sinners.
Unless you were a stripper too :P
Here is the deal which you already know,God had his sites on you, He knew what you did, doing and gonna do and regardless He fixed it for you and everyone else.
I miss my church badly but I can't go, you can but your reasons are yours for why you don't. I am not good at church talk but boy are there some faces I would like to see. Maybe what you are craving is the thing I think most people who really want to be with God do and that's the place that we long for when everything is done it will have been written and we will all be standing where we belong. In Heaven
You so loved understand that or not it does not change
Mrs. Zeke. You are a benediction.
Much Love,
Chad
And Josh. We share a heart, bro.
Josh,
I still go to church. I don't always like it, but I go. And I can honestly tell you that Sunday mornings are NOT the high point of my spiritual life. In fact, they're probably the biggest struggle.
No, for me, it's the people God has brought into my life, outside of church. The friends who just want to hang out and NOT talk churchy, religious stuff. I never understood that concept until recently.
Ultimately, this life is not meant to be lived alone. If it were, we wouldn't need most of our physical senses. No, we need each other in genuine relationship.
Some of the best church I experience is nowhere near that place I sing on Sunday mornings (although I have some good relationships there as well).
Dude, you're definitely loved, and not in this alone!!
Josh, perhaps I'm wrong, but your last line says volumes. You said "God, I have truly missed you". Might I infer that you still cling to the notion that we can only meet with God within the confines of a building? I'm not criticising you, I just found that interesting. Yeah, I'd say it's part of your detox. You're jonesing for church.
btw...trust me, you're not the biggest fuck-up god has on his list
Paul was a stripper?!
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