I thought it was going to be a normal night
My wife and I went out to one of my favorite places to eat tonight, The Souplantaion. We parked and started to walk towards the restaurant and I complained to my wife saying that this place always reminds me of Saddleback church. I swear every time we are go to souplantation it seems that one of the many church services at Saddleback just got out. The place is always infested with fake christians. Usually I make sure to wear my "religion kills" t-shirt just to piss some people off but I forgot to tonight. Damn.
First, everyone always starts off at the salad bar and I always end up with the guy behind me who likes to have his fucking tray touching mine. It is like he is indirectly letting me know that he can't wait to get a plateful of broccoli and that he is afraid they are going to run out. I get to the register and pay my discounted rate because I am a triple A member. Sweet. Then the wifey and I look for an open table. On the way to find a table, I catch eyes with one of my old high school students I used to work with. "Is that Zack?" It was. Man, I've missed Zack. I always liked Zack. We shared so much in common and he was one of those kids who really just "got it". I mean, all the stupid church stuff. What a good kid. We chatted for about a minute then I was off to get some soup.
My little secret with the soup is to always get the chicken noodle soup and add some green onion. BANG...it kicks it up a notch.
I sat back down with my beautiful wife and started to eat. MMMMMMM....good. Then, being the eves dropper that I am I heard words like ... Lord, Prayer, Small Group, Old Testament, etc.. FUCK. It was two couples, one young couple (early 20s) sitting across from another older couple (early 70s). The older man was quizzing the younger couple. My only thought was that of trying to put new wine into an old wineskin. Hell, I only heard bits and pieces. All I know is that every objection, concern or question the younger couple had was shot down by the older couple. Sad.
Then very loudly, one of the original members of the band The Supertones makes his entrance. Speaking so loudly to get everyone attention. "Hey guy, how are you? It is so great to see you." Nice. But dude, way too loud. Attention whore.
At this point my wife is just smiling at me, knowing quite well what I was thinking. I CAN'T GET AWAY FROM IT! Fake christians or should I call them christians how are fake. I can't explain the scene entirely. You had to be there. It made me kind of sick. Seriously, I did not eat a lot. I was happy to leave.
I got home, cracked open a beer and checked my email. 8 junk emails. 2 that should be junk. 1 very special email. A different high school student emailed me. One that I became close to. Ryan "AKA : 8th grader". Here it is :
--------------------------
hey josh,
dood i havnt talk 2 u in a while. ive been trying 2 contact u for a while. i miss u man. u were like my role model and my father. but ya. your change your cell #. heres mine. its still the same. call me some time. ### ### ####. ow me and my friend started a recording studio. and i think u should meet hims. hes 21 and preaty chill. but ya i miss u man
your apprentice,
8th grader
aka ryan
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What a pick me up.
This evening was weird. It was almost like a punch in the face from the reality of the church. I saw a kid in need of a role model. I witnessed the old church trying to calm and constrain the young church. The "church celebrity" showed up. And I found that one of my youth still wants to live a little more life with me.
The church is flawed. The people are stupid. But I still love them and I hope to show my love once again.
posted by Joshua Sager at
9:44 PM
9 Comments:
Have you ever read 12 Steps of the Recovering Pharisee by John Fisher....
I love your site, your insight but I have to be careful and then you end and I see your heart and I just pray for you, for all of us to just love Him somehow with all our differences to just love Him ...I do feel lonely sometimes.....but I am a SCP so why wouldn't I....
Josh, for all of the other shit that you had to endure that evening, the e-mail from the kid had to make it all worth it.
Do people in public places who wear their christianity like a badge work on your nerves or what?!?
I know folks who think that if the say Jesus' name loudly or pray so everyone can hear, that they're being a witness or being bold or something. (reminds me of some folks Jesus used to address...)
I don't think anyone's impressed by any of it. And your evening summed it up.
The only true spirituality has nothing to do with celebrity or control. It's all about relationship... not fakey community that resembles a cuntry club, but people living life together... just needing each other... without all the religious baggage.
Funny how an eighth graders' unhindered desire for an example can bring that all into perspective.
Cool end to a weird night, dude. Good for you!
Hmm. Maybe the level of acceptance you felt from people in the church your mirroring in your level of acceptance of them.
People are flawed, sinful, arrogant and other things.
The only thing that is saving them, and you and I is Christ attonement and Grace. I am often tempted to do the the Holy Spirit work and bash people like that but it is pointless.
Isn't that what drove you from the church in the first place, people's lack of acceptance of you?
Dan Hergott
So....uhh.....
where can I get one of those nifty shirts at?
From Zeller in Canada at Halloween, I also got the pitch fork there as well. I call the outfit the Christian backstabbing clown costume :>
I went out with my Grandkids at Halloween with it on. It was lots of fun. A few houses even gave me candy! Bonus.
Dan
OMG, I could taste that restaurant experience... like ashes in my mouth. If there's anything I don't miss about So Calif., it's the veil over the Orange Curtain. I could never stand the OC xtian scene and especially the OC xtian mu-sick scene. It's like GMA, a neccesary evil.
I just completely and entirely got slapped upside the head with the memory of OC xtianity and realized what it is that you've been struggling with. It's been well over a dozen years since I had to deal with those clowns in the OC professionally and socially. It's actually worst then the religious Baptist spirit here in Dallas, Texass.
I never lived in OC (on purpose)even though my labels and label mates, etc. all lived down there and that's where most of my records were made, I stayed put in the valley just north of the Hollywood sign for a reason. Your post brought back the wretched memory of Mecca off the 405. No wonder you're detoxing. I had forgotten about that little piece of heaven known as the 714. To make it worst, my memories are from the 80's and early '90's. I could only imagine how much worst it's gotten in the last 12 years... my sympathies Joshua.
Aw, that email is terrific. I love it that you have an apprentice.
I think a good way to refer to the people in the restaurant is "plastic Christians." Whether they're fake or not, well, that's not really for you or me to judge, but all we have to go on is appearance, and their appearance is plastic. And I don't know anyone who likes hanging out with plastic people.
I sent the link of this blog to a friend of mine... here's his reply...
I obviously don't quite understand this guy, but his comment that he "loves the people" in the last paragraph seemed somewhat exagerated, seeing as the inward judgements which he gave them. He is so concerned about the churchianic attitudes, but isn't exactly dying to the flesh, or walking by the Spirit.. I realize that he would likely think that I was just preaching churchy stuff to him, but it appears that he would also have said that about what the apostle Paul said. There are some things that sound foolish, but the power of the gospel has been known to be foolishness to the world for about 2000 years now.
I don't know this guy's e-mail address, but you can send it to him if you'd like.
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