Why I Suck As A Person : Part 5
The fog started to clear and reality was getting closer. The truth about the church was starting to be seen; it was stupid and full of flawed people. I loved the fact that we were flawed, but I also wished people in the church would own it and not be so stupid.
Stupid:
•From the way the church would advertise itself to a certain market and qualify success by the weekly attendance/giving.
•By offering a prize for the staff member that could obtain the most “Comment Cards” by using any creative, persuasive ways necessary. Thus getting peoples personal information for the churches mailing list.
•Seeing the pastor become frustrated while doing sound check one Sunday morning and throwing his water bottle across the room as he yells at the top of his lungs. Then quietly greeting first time visitors only minutes later.
•Having a parent tell me they questioned what I was teaching because I was young and I had a zit on my face.
•How the lead pastor would “Trump” any and everybody’s ideas or suggestions. It was always his way and it will always be.
•Every Sunday being the same:
-Song (Upbeat and loud to get everyone inside and away from the free doughnuts)
-Welcome (Full of fake energy and enthusiasm)
-2 Songs (Hiding the need for attention behind worshipping God)
-Movie Clip (I would be okay if I never saw another clip from Bruce Almighty)
-“Feature Song” (A secular song that “tied into” the point of the message. Typically U2 if they were in town)
-3 Point Message (Something to help me leave feeling like a better person and that this is all about me)
-Song (Heart-felt and soft or uplifting and energized, it could go either way on this one)
-Announcements (Cleverly hidden agendas to ask for your money and prove God is alive and working within the church because of all the “stuff “ they do)
And the most stupid thing …
•Finding out that I had been a part of it all for so long.
I started to cope with how dumb the church was by meeting with Steve. We would meet over lunches to talk about, question and make fun of the stupid things in the church. It was good therapy for me.
I decided that it was time for me to leave paid ministry and church going all together and get a “real” job. At first I set out to take three months away; it took longer. My last day inside the walls of a church was November 15, 2005. Today marks one year away from the church. I feel free. I feel alive. I have not just been living outside of the box; I have been living without the box.
Now what?
I am going to go back. I’m going to go back to the stupid church with its stupid people. Maybe I can help them suck less. Maybe I could just call them out on their shit. Either way, starting this Sunday I am going back to church. I will document my experience every week on my blog. Each week I will visit a new church and I will report the good, the bad and the ugly. In doing so maybe we can all learn, grow and laugh at the current state of the church. And maybe I just might find one that doesn’t suck as much.
…detox complete.
Stupid:
•From the way the church would advertise itself to a certain market and qualify success by the weekly attendance/giving.
•By offering a prize for the staff member that could obtain the most “Comment Cards” by using any creative, persuasive ways necessary. Thus getting peoples personal information for the churches mailing list.
•Seeing the pastor become frustrated while doing sound check one Sunday morning and throwing his water bottle across the room as he yells at the top of his lungs. Then quietly greeting first time visitors only minutes later.
•Having a parent tell me they questioned what I was teaching because I was young and I had a zit on my face.
•How the lead pastor would “Trump” any and everybody’s ideas or suggestions. It was always his way and it will always be.
•Every Sunday being the same:
-Song (Upbeat and loud to get everyone inside and away from the free doughnuts)
-Welcome (Full of fake energy and enthusiasm)
-2 Songs (Hiding the need for attention behind worshipping God)
-Movie Clip (I would be okay if I never saw another clip from Bruce Almighty)
-“Feature Song” (A secular song that “tied into” the point of the message. Typically U2 if they were in town)
-3 Point Message (Something to help me leave feeling like a better person and that this is all about me)
-Song (Heart-felt and soft or uplifting and energized, it could go either way on this one)
-Announcements (Cleverly hidden agendas to ask for your money and prove God is alive and working within the church because of all the “stuff “ they do)
And the most stupid thing …
•Finding out that I had been a part of it all for so long.
I started to cope with how dumb the church was by meeting with Steve. We would meet over lunches to talk about, question and make fun of the stupid things in the church. It was good therapy for me.
I decided that it was time for me to leave paid ministry and church going all together and get a “real” job. At first I set out to take three months away; it took longer. My last day inside the walls of a church was November 15, 2005. Today marks one year away from the church. I feel free. I feel alive. I have not just been living outside of the box; I have been living without the box.
Now what?
I am going to go back. I’m going to go back to the stupid church with its stupid people. Maybe I can help them suck less. Maybe I could just call them out on their shit. Either way, starting this Sunday I am going back to church. I will document my experience every week on my blog. Each week I will visit a new church and I will report the good, the bad and the ugly. In doing so maybe we can all learn, grow and laugh at the current state of the church. And maybe I just might find one that doesn’t suck as much.
…detox complete.
posted by Joshua Sager at
12:05 AM
13 Comments:
interesting how it all turned out, josh. congratulations on the completion of your detox :)
all i can say now is that i can't wait to read what you have to say after detox. detox may not be for everyone (maybe not for me), but bitterness sure isn't.
Thank you, Josh, for sharing this. I really appreciate your candor and honesty. I'm looking forward to reading your blog in the weeks to come!
Good on ya mate! Way to let them balls just hang right out there (just so we're clear, this changes nothing of your person-suck-assiness).
On a serious note though, if I may impart just a few words of... whatever. I think you should use this next phase as a sort of self-litmus test. This may sting a little, but you never left the church. The only way you could have ever left the church, was if you had renounced God (sorry Calvenists for getting your holy nickers in a twist... get over it, oh and read your bible a little closer! Wow, I've got a lot of praying to do after that one...). We are the church, every one of us that has placed our faith in Christ. Therefore the buildings where other Christians meet should not be an exclusive club, or mystical Jesus fraternity. On the other hand, I believe that America is lucky to have so many churches. Think of them as many different cultures-to each their own. Find those who are like-minded and then fellowship.
All I'm saying is, I challenge you not to critisize first, but instead to first get to know the people. They are the ones that make up that fellowship, not the stage lights and fancy bulletins. Look, you and I have had our fair share of talks on this subject, and you know I'm just as guilty at pointing my big fat finger when these 'churches' drop the ball... fuck up the sound, or spoon feed us some shitty Gerber-worship. But is that really the only reason I get my lazy ass out of bed on sundays? If I experience the fakest, most Christ un-like service ever, but meet a genuine brother or sister with whom I might share some REAL fellowship, isn't that ultimately what it's all about? Our desire to go to 'church' should be fueled by the desire to fellowship with other Christians, not meet God! He's already right here, he's been here the whole time. We just choose to set 'play dates' with him on sundays (maybe the occasional wednesday night).
Sorry to have launched in to a sermon bro, it seems to happening a lot lately. Well, just look at this as your preview of things to come. I will be praying for you, and I strongly believe that God has great things in store for the church through you, if you let him.
Happy hunting...
Hey Josh. Good luck with the whole Church thing. I hope that now that your eyes have been opened, you can stand the bullshit. Seriously though. I am glad you arent bitter. I wish I didnt have to go back to Church.
Hey. you guys need to do a new podcast. I have no life at all and listened to all of your podcasts. I have a 3 hour a day commute so I have plenty of time.
Just like Solomon siad, there's nothing new under the sun. www.ship-of-fools have gone before you. They do their own "Mystery Worshipper" reports. Very entertaining they are too.
Shieldsy-
You called it...I am totally ripping them off with the whole documenting my eperiences visting churches. Hey, it's a great idea!
I second spiritbear's motion. Methinks a new podcast would be a cool idea. :)
Anyway, congrats on finishing your detox.
Josh,
I too am looking forward to the reports because I'm sure they will be irreverent and hysterical. However, I'm not so sure it's going to be a good experience for you. As far as I can tell from what you have written and your comments in the podcast, you have a tendency to be a little, how do you say, bitter and critical...I hope church shopping doesn't just become a way to feed that proclivity.
I'm out of the church and quite frankly don't know if I'll ever go back...still struggling with it.
Good luck! Keep sucking it up.
Josh,
The perfect church is not out there; churches suck because they're filled with less than perfect people. I know. I'm one of them.
I had to leave the church of my youth when I came out as a gay man and I had a liberating experience similar to the one you describe. While I have no desire to return to that church, at the same time, I wish them peace. We all have a different role to play in the church, and they can minister to those who I cannot. The fact that they do not reciprocate that belief is not my problem.
When churches place unecesary burdens on people and drift from a Gospel of truly good news, we are obligated to point it out. But (Slips into Yoda mode) of the dark side beware! To see only the foolishness of others, to nowhere healthy leads.
Hey Josh. Good for you.
I'm looking forward to hearing, the "bad" & "ugly", as well as the "good".
I've come to the understanding that while most church leadership is motivated by fear, greed and selfishness, a good chunk of the people in church are good folks who don't know any better than what they're sold.
I appreciate your willingness to help shed some light.
Peace to you, bro.
Dude, I am disappointed. I sat in a room with you for many meetings where we discussed some of the stupid stuff you mentioned. And yes, some of it was stupid. What disappoints me is that, if my memory serves me right, you never spoke up and said something during those meetings. Even though I know you and Steve and you guys say that you are both 'stupid' as well and that I 'get' what you guys are trying to do, I have to admit that it hurts to read this. I wish you would have been more vocal.
If the church (little "c") is led by the problem (pastors) and isn't representative of the whole Church (capital "C"), then why go back? Why not make it your full-time job to find a group of people that you can do Church with without the number one problem in church - pastors and church government?
I understand how hard it is to find that. If my c/Church wasn't around I'm not sure what I would do but I wouldn't go to another church. I'd make it my mission in life to find a group of like-minded Christ-followers and do Church with them.
Anyway, that's my two-cents worth. No one needs a traditional church setting. It just happens to work for some and the rest don't know there is an alternative. I find it interesting that the most dynamic movements of God around the world today are in places too poor or too oppressed to have a church building or typical denominational organization. God doesn't seem too concerned that they don't do church like Western Christendom does...
Go in to the church of your choice and slap the preist in the face with your tallywacker...so as to get his attention to the fact that he is a dick in the first place for even thinking that he/she has a better idea and/or belief of how life should be gone about!!!
Just my humble opinion, I leave it up to you.
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