Checking In

I have not posted in awhile. I have been busy but that is not my real reason for not posting.

Really, I have not cared too much about detoxing from the church. I have left the church and not looked back. I don't want to have to worry about all that right now. Does that make me a bad person? None of my beliefs have changed. Other than the fact that I don't go to church anymore, none of my actions have changed.

What is the goal of my detox? Is it to become a "Changed Man"? I don't know anymore.

Isn't it scary what the church can do to people? The church makes them numb. Numb to the system. Sometimes I just question my reason or ability to fight it. I am only one voice distorted by the steeple. Damn, I worry so much about the church that I neglect time with family and friends. Or I waste the time I do have with them trying to solve the churches problems. In a way, I have learned to hate the church. Just thinking about it turns my stomach.

Just a big group of fake friends stroking each other. I know what people want to say to that ... "Well Josh, you just didn't reach out to us" or "Josh, we reached out to you many times". Sure, nothing every developed because it WAS fake. Or forced. Or required. But never real.

If I am to continue this detox or even my involment with SCP.com, I need to vent more. I need to call people out. I need to hate the things people have done. I need to learn to really love church people.

Yea ... we'll see.

Church People are just so STUPID!!!!!!